I had big plans for my vacation in Sosùa.
Day trips, outings to several nearby beaches, sailing, visits to rum factories – oh yes, I had it all planned out.
My best-laid plans were abandoned when I saw this spot.
From the first moment I saw it, my plans began to change.
And the only outing I wanted was one that brought me here.
Though my body stayed put, my mind roamed everywhere, thanks to my stack of books.
I brought seven books, and was through them all in two weeks. When I ran out, my oceanfront pals came to my rescue, and provided me with more.
When I wasn’t reading – or writing – I walked on the beach.
But the thing that was the best was having heaps of unstructured time.
It was exactly what I needed.
Like everyone I know, my regular life can get a bit crazy and even chaotic at times – especially in B&B season. With another season quickly approaching, my soul was craving some deep rest.
I’m so thankful that I got it.
You see, I can be a bit of a worry-wart. Maybe a lot of a worry-wart. So before I left, I told myself I would try an experiment. For my three weeks in Sosùa, I was not going to worry about a single solitary thing. The plan was that every time a worry would pop into my head, I would say to myself, “You can think about that when you get home”, and put it immediately out of my mind.
It actually worked.
And I felt the lightest, the most deeply relaxed I have felt in a long time. Possibly ever.
Now, I know myself, and I know my nature. This vacation experiment doesn’t mean I will magically be able to get rid of years of worry and anxiety patterns. But I think, what if I could bring some of that holiday behaviour into my everyday life somehow? What if I could find some ways to feel lighter, freer, not so bogged down by my cares and concerns….what kind of a difference could that make in my life?
I’d like to try it and see. I don’t know exactly how I’ll do this in my real life. My sabbatical program of “I’ll think about it later when I get home” doesn’t apply when I actually AM home.
I guess I’ll have to stumble my way along and figure it out as I go.
This way of thinking is very foreign to me. Before I begin anything new, I usually want concrete answers, strategies, and reassurances that things are going to turn out exactly the way I think they should.
But of course, life often doesn’t go along with that plan, does it?
I’ve found lately, that the more I let go of what I think “should” happen, or what I “should” do, some of my worries can be alleviated a bit.
Which my time in Sosùa helped me to realize even more.
Sure, I could have forced myself to stick to my plans and schedules. After all, who knows if I’ll ever get back there again? Maybe I should have just plunged ahead, grabbed the bull by the horns, crammed each day with the most “fun” I could.
But when I saw that beach, I knew I was craving something different.
Maybe sometimes, changing our plans and letting go of what we think we “should” do is the best answer.
So, we didn’t have days crammed full of wild holiday tales and Instagram-storied adventures.
But I will always, always remember the deep rest and soul-soothing peace that I found in Sosùa.